I Hate You
by Murasaki Kurai
Summary: An abused and emotionally unstable Sakura has some moments in her bathroom, alone... or not? WARNINGS: Depressing and Emo. Implied ItaSaku and SasuSaku. ONESHOT. Slight lemon. Song fic to 'I Don't Love You' by My Chemical Romance.


**I Hate You**

**By Murasaki Kurai**

Well, when you go  
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay  
And maybe when you get back  
I'll be off to find another way

* * *

The mission ends uneventfully, and Sasuke leaves me to return home, while he reports to the Hokage. His red eyes look through me as he gives a half hearted good bye. I turn to leave, without speaking, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me away from the crowd of people that moves as if we do not exist. In the alley between a dango shop and a residency building, he roughly slams me against the wall, so my back is facing him. Suggestively, he grinds his erect crotch against my back, telling me exactly what he expects later, when he returns. I imagine him taking me right there, in the filthy, sinful alley, but he is gone just as quickly. I slide to the ground, and breathe deep gulps of air, trying to keep my insides down.

Later, I crawl out of the shower, shivering because our second rate apartment has no warm water. I glance out the open door of the bathroom, and see Sasuke isn't back yet. I feel sick to my stomach in his absence; my insides ache from the loneliness. But I feel this way guiltily, and without a single spec of self regard. I know the reason he does not return, despite his earlier affirmations. He knows what I am about to do, and to punish me for something I do not understand, he allows me to do it. In the hope it will bring him home to me quicker, I give in. Sometimes the way he thinks- the way he tortures me is sickening, but I can do nothing. Despite the fear I feel during every mission we take, together, with me knowing deep down no matter how much I trust him to protect me… he won't. And because despite the fact my fingertips skim down the smooth face of the mirror, I can only feel the tingling sensation in my wrists. And in the back of my mind, though it slowly makes its way to the surface, is the image of the razor, only arms length away.

* * *

And after all this time that you still owe  
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know  
So take your gloves and get out  
Better get out  
While you can

* * *

My hand, fast from years of needing the best of the best reflexes, closes around the blade before I can even consider what I'm doing. My right knuckle, the one still pressed against the mirror that refuses to show me what I really am, rotates, so my wrist faces the ceiling, and me. As my left arm, trembling, rises into the air, as if to caress a lover. My naked thighs and hips sensually grind into counter.

The red, ruby blood drips before I even realize I pierced myself. It runs down my arm, to the pit of my elbow, where it pools like the pond, west of Konoha that I like to relax in. My forehead presses against the mirror, as I bask in pain and pleasure, and I look myself in the eye. I realize it's the first time I've made eye contact with anyone in weeks, because of the bangs I've grown for him. To connect with him.

Blood rushes into the sink, and down my side. It drips off my elbow. The sound of dripping over powers my light breathing and the pounding in my head from slightly faded intoxication makes it almost unbearable.

* * *

When you go  
Would you even turn to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I did  
Yesterday"

* * *

Then I feel the presence behind me. I see the swish of black hair, the flash of red eyes. The touch on my inner thighs.

"S-Sasuke…" I greet. I slide my bleeding wrist down the mirror, so it doesn't call to much attention to it. Then, his hand shoots out and catches the razor, roughly pulling it from my grip. I turn, startled. Sasuke had seen me like this many times, but never stopped me.

The face that greets me is older than the one I expected, and the familiarity and sickness I feel at the sight of it comes crashing down before even my mind has realized it. I turn away from him, to the toliet. The sound of my gags and chokes fill the bathroom, while his god-sent hands hold back my hair. I turn to skim my finger across his cheek, testing the realness, to stain my blood, which still covers my fingers, on his pale cheeks.

"You're dead…" I whisper, fearlessly. He would never hurt me. Not like Sasuke.

"If only…" He whispers. He reaches to the sink, and turning it on, lets the water pool in the palms of his hands before lifting it to my lips, for me to drink from. The water is cooling, and rids my mouth of the leftover bile that stings my throat.

* * *

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading  
So sick and tired of all the needless beating  
But baby when they knock you  
Down and out  
It's where you oughta stay

* * *

He touches his fingers, very tenderly, to my stomach, which has just barely noticeably swelled. Sasuke hasn't noticed, but Itachi knows better.

"It's mine." The words do not fall gently, sensually from his mouth as a question. They are a statement.

"Yes. I know."

"Does-" I cut him off.

"No. Sasuke doesn't know." Salty tears touch my lips, and my throat tightens painfully. My words melt into sobs. "When-he… finds-out… he…ll…"

"Shh… shh…" He hushes me. As if I am our baby within me, he cradles me in his arms, and lowers me safely to the floor.

* * *

And after all the blood that you still owe  
Another dollar's just another blow  
So fix your eyes and get up  
Better get up  
While you can  
Whoa, whooa

* * *

Our foreheads press against each other, his eyes looking warmly into mine. I tie my arms into the tightest of knots around his gloriously smooth neck.

"Sakura…" He murmurs, voice like velvet.

"Itachi… I love… you… _Please_…" His mouth silences me. My thighs move around to his waist, and I dangle off him. Our mouths separate. "I need you… Come… back…To… me…"

* * *

When you go  
Would you even turn to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I did  
Yesterday"  
Well come on, come on

* * *

I kiss him again as he carries me to the bed in the next room. He makes love to me, better than I've ever had with Sasuke. It's the best I've had since the night we conceived our child. And the next day, Itachi died, at the hands of Sasuke.

"It…a…chi…" I whisper, ready to come. He thrusts again, slightly more gentle than the last. The next time, I am louder, "_Itachi_…!"

"ITA-"

"_SAKURA_!" A voice shouts from somewhere.

"-CHI!" I come, every part of my body throbbing with pleasure.

* * *

When you go  
Would you have the guts to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday"

* * *

Then, my eyes open, revealing the same bathroom, floor covered in blood. I look around, bewildered, when I see Sasuke. I see the anger in his eyes. I feel confused by everything going on around me, when suddenly everything clicks. My hands, still resting between my thighs; my mouth still hanging open from the name I screamed during my very real orgasm. And Sasuke, having witnessed, and heard the name of his brother coming from my mouth during a moment of self inflicted pleasure.

Tears drip off my cheeks, onto the bloody floor, as I grope myself up the wall into a standing position.

"Sas-_Sasuke_…" I choke out. "_No_… It's… It's not-"

"_Shut _UP!" He screams, shoving me hard in the chest, so I fall backwards, across the hard, tiled floor.

* * *

I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday

* * *

"_No!_" I sob, trying to think of a way to stop him. "I love _you!_ Pl-_PLEASE! _B-believe me!"

"I…said…" He says slowly. He grabs a kunai from his pouch, the clinking, tinkling of metal echoes through the bathroom. I try not to imagine the fact it will probably be the last beautiful sound I ever hear. "Shut…_UP!_"

His voice pierces my soul just as the blade plunges into my chest. The blood he has drawn mixes with the blood I drew myself, in a _stupid _attempt to gain his satisfaction in his absence. _No one_ satisfies Sasuke Uchiha. No one.

"Sas…uke…" I hiss in my last moments, as he looks down at my soon to be corpse, warm blood still pouring from my chest. "I'm… pregnant with… Itachi's… ch-child…"

The last thing I see is Sasuke's stoic, hateful, indifferent glare. With the last of my breath, I whisper three words.

* * *

I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday

* * *

"I hate you…"

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

**A/N **Aaah I feel sick to my stomach after writing this. Not only is it depressing, but it's insulting to Sasuke fans. Like me. -cry- I don't feel this way about Sasuke, and I wish Itachi wasn't dead. Plus Sakura dies. None of this works in my head. Stupid emo emotions!!! -brain implosion-

I don't know why I wrote this. It's puke- GAH!!!! Well I hope you readers enjoyed it at least because I certainly didn't. Review if you feel like it- it would make me happy. :]

Credit for the song goes to My Chemical Romance!!! I don't own any of the characters but I do own the extremely depressing story line.


End file.
